Death by Delivery Documentary: Why We Don't Watch

@ananahparris

Last night I watched the documentary, Death by Delivery. As some of you may have read my own personal delivery story was beyond traumatic. You may not know that this documentary was the first time I heard that my birth experience was a scientific researched category linked to racism on a large scale. In addition to being saddened by the information, I also became sad because I knew how many Black women would not watch the documentary.

The documentary takes you through the hard to swallow and depressing lesson that many of us women of African descent are keenly aware of in this country that statistically it is likely we will die faster than white women. Statistically we are treated less humanely in the medical world and that we are under constant environmental stress of many kinds due to racism compounded by sexism. Who wants to spend 40 minutes or so having that broken down when no one is there to address how the documentary makes you feel afterwards? To watch trauma, listen to it being described and see the effects of it can be traumatic. It is almost as if a person would have to completely healthy just to be educated on social justice issues affecting them and their community directly. This is why many of us do not watch.

What is so important to understand is that we must create a Self Care Plan that is ongoing so we do not throw the "information baby" out with the "emotionally distressing trauma bath water". All too often we miss out on information that could empower ourselves, our sisters or our brothers because it is simply too painful to endure. So, I thought this blog might highlight a few key points for those without a Self Care Plan to get some basic information in hopes that they will surround themselves with other sisters and a counselor to be there once they are able to watch. As my own act of self-care, I invited members of the SisterCARE Alliance to accompany me and J'Nita Michelle was kind enough to join me.

Why? Because we must care for ourselves better that the "medical industrial complex" does. I learned that term from my sister Monica Simpson, Executive Director of SisterSONG and steering committee member of BlackMamasMatter.org and national steering committee member of the March for Black Women who were the hosts of the film screening of Death by Delivery I attended.

Key researchers, activists and champions of saving black women's lives are in the documentary that you need to know about like Dr. Fleda Mask Jackson. Dr. Jackson was a pivotal featured researcher in the documentary. A scholar, educator, and activist, Dr. Jackson is the President and CEO of MAJAICA, LLC, a national research firm and think tank and the leader and creator of Save 100 Babies, a cross sector network based in Atlanta, Georgia devoted to a social determinants, asset-based approach for eliminating racial disparities in birth outcomes.

Dr. Jackson broke down the fact-based logic of why Black women are dying more frequently and its connection to race and gender.

"The connection between race and maternal mortality really has to do with stress and the particular kind of stress that African American women encounter is around racism. It's around sexism... It's the double jeopardy of being black and female and what does that do in terms of a woman's response physiologically and psychologically if in fact there is no relief from those environmental circumstances that create stress in the body of a woman... What we do know from the scientific literature is if you look at black women and white women with similar backgrounds black women fair worse."

Dr. Jackson drops so many gems for those in need of facts to understand or prove why racism is causing the disparities in maternal mortality rates being higher in Black women that I could fill up this whole blog with her quotes. I hope you watch the documentary. I hope you take care of yourself during and afterwards.

The more I watched the film, the more informed I became. The more I watched, the more grateful I was for the support I have been receiving. The more I watched, the more grateful I was that I had been gradually working on recovering from my own traumatic birth experience. I don't know if I would have ever had the courage to watch the film had I not worked so hard on my own Self Care Plan prior to SisterSong's invitation. Because I watched, I was able to learn enough to see that watching was not just about my personal delivery experience. This is also not just about racism. This film is a wonderful tool created to empower me with information that will help me help other sisters.

I learned what legislators are attempting to do that they need to be held accountable for. Present in the audience were many powerful activists and politicians in Georgia who care like State Representative "Able" Mable Thomas. I learned what the Georgia Department of Health 'says' they are doing to address the disparity of maternal mortality rates in Black women. I encourage you to contact Able Mable Thomas and learn more about how she is assisting in the fight.

The film highlights that Black women experiencing poverty are catching the brunt of this maternal mortality epidemic. However, it also mentions that whether you are impoverished or not, the assumption by the staff of a hospital can be that you are to be treated worse and less humane because you are black. Not being heard nor respected during your delivery experience and medical professionals not making concessions for a patient's experience with pain are common occurrences when racism is in play in a hospital setting.

I remember working to keep a positive attitude then arguing with my nurse to turn down the pitocin because I literally couldn't breathe. She was patronizing at first then rude. It seems threatening to hit her with the IV stand was the only way I could get her to comply. In the picture below my dear friend Dr. Ayana Perkins offered some relief and kindness to me during the delivery process. She saw me. She listened to me. What I said and needed mattered to her. I was thankful she was there.

Not only was my C-section performed without my epidural working, my son was also kept from me for two hours after the birth. The hospital would not bring him to me until I could move my legs. While traveling and speaking about self-care, I hear many women say they had a similar traumatic birth experience. Not until watching this documentary did I understand the full scope of the inhumane, preventable violence women's bodies and spirits have been enduring for over 50 years according to one physician in the film. I really thought my experience was unique. My dear friends like Kim Brundidge in the above picture had my back that day. She helped me feel hopeful. What is beautiful about my traumatic birth story is that we survived. My son and I survived.

Not only did we both survive, I have been able to emotionally heal through constantly working my Self Care Plan, asking for help and being courageous enough to be willing to heal. I write about it in my blog "Running From Yoga". There are so many powerful stories of sisters surviving, healing and supporting each other no matter what this country has thrown at us as black women. Tell those stories. Invite those sisters who have mapped out a blueprint of more than just surviving but of revolutionary self-care to your circles and discussions.

Listen, I understand many women have wonderful birth experiences and that none of the data shared in the documentary is easy hear. I also understand that if you are a Black woman reading this blog or considering watching the documentary, more sadness on top of your own issues is not how you want to start your day. I only ask that you consider creating a mini Self Care Approach before watching the documentary so you can be empowered with information. Anytime you have the opportunity to address a difficult topic laced documentary, panel discussion or social justice issue that can empower you and those in your community, take a moment to complete the mini Self Care Approach checklist below before hand so you can participate and learn in a healthy way.

If you are the head of an organization hosting the viewing of a documentary, panel discussion or social justice issue which could educate and also trigger stress to your audience, consider taking a moment to invite therapists, self-care advocates or counselors to be available onsite during the discussion.

We must be kinder to each other than this country has been. We must be more gentle and caring to ourselves than we have been treated in the past.

I understand why you don't want to watch the documentary. I just hope you use it as a tool of educational empowerment and watch it anyway.

How to Create A Mini Self Care Approach

Step 1. Acknowledge and arrange what you need to deal with a difficult topic then #askforhelp.

When you say the topic of the event or documentary out loud, what is your initial reaction? This reaction should trigger your awareness of a critical need when dealing with this issue. Asking for help is a powerful form of self-care.

Step 2. Write down what you need in a visible place.

It is important you remember to follow up on getting the support you need before attending the event.

Step 3. Tell the truth to someone.

We hide how badly we feel about a difficult topic so often that we forget how much stress is released by merely sharing with the right person how much we are bothered by the topic. Find someone caring who won't practice their pseudo psychologist skills on you nor tease you insensitively.

Step 4. Find someone to go with you that will talk about the topic afterwards.

We all need to share about a difficult topic or experience. Try to find someone to go with you.

Step 5. Schedule a counseling session to attend after the event or topic is addressed.

If you are triggered in anyway, this is a topic and a stressor that will not magically go away. Professional caring guidance is critical to any healing process after a trauma.

Anana Harris Parris is the founder of the SisterCARE Alliance, the Self Care Agency and creator of the Self Care Matters Program. She is also the author of Self Care Matters: A Revolutionary's Approach.